As you can see Amber has suckered me into the world of blogging (a thing I have been trying to avoid for some time). But being isolated from friends and family has been something of an influence.
Basic training has been, by far, one of the most difficult things I have ever endured. I was pushed well past what I believed were my physical and mental limits. Looking back though, it has been one of my greatest accomplishments and I know I only made it through because of the Lord.
Every single morning I awoke on my knees praying to make it through the day. And every single evening I ended on my knees thanking God I actually did. I feel my testimony and my reliance on the Lord grew stronger than it did when I was on my mission or during any part of my life. I witnessed miracles, in direct answers to prayers, while I was there. I suppose if I wasn't a 31 year old, highly out of shape man, with a struggling testimony when I joined I might have had an easier time. Lets just say I wasn't given any special treatment or the special treatment I did get wasn't the fun kind.
Having said that, I have never once doubted my decision to join the military. I love the Air Force, I love my country and I am proud to serve under her name. I really feel like I am part of a greater thing.
I like to think about the great leaders of the church within the Book of Mormon and how often the Lord chose men of military to fill those roles. I fully believe the Lord has a special love for the men and women of the Armed Forces. I suppose I feel the most complete in my life when I am serving my fellow men in the role of protection.
“Citizens sleep peacefully at night knowing that rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf”
-George Orwell
The biggest change of my life has been becoming a father. I went three weeks without meeting my son and didn't really feel any different. I was blessed with leave to go home last week and held my son for the first time. My whole life changed. I had an epiphany. I was a father. All I wanted to do the entire weekend was hold my son. I truly felt a bond I didn't know existed.
My heart breaks every day when I think of Ky trying to be a mom by herself. I look forward to the day when we can be a complete family.
I know this has been a very somber blog and I apologize for that. But isn't that what a blog is, a journal of my thoughts? This is where I am right now. In San Angelo, Texas, wishing I was in Boise, Idaho. Being a husband and a father.
I'm sure in future blogs you will see the same old goof-off Clay that you know and love so well. But as for tonight, sleep peacefully, knowing I stand ready to do violence on your behalf.
C
5 comments:
That was an inspiring and touching train of thought! I know you are going to be a great father and an even better husband having gone through this experience. I am proud of all that you are accomplishing and we do think of you and pray for your success every day.
Thank you for appreciating how hard it is to be a single mother. I know Kylene will be greatful to have someone to share in the worries and joys of parenthood. It is exhausting to be a good parent and I know she is going to be happy to have someone to lean on again. Kresimir will also love having you around. Dads are just different in their interaction with their children and he will grow to be even more well rounded having you here to influence him.
You will be a great Dad and Uncle and we are excited for this new chapter in all of our lives!
Who Ra!
Welcome to the world of blogging. It is actually kind of fun once you start. But now when you ask someone how things are going they say "didnt you read my blog yet?"
I am very proud of you and think that you are going to be a great father.
Now that you are a blogger, you don't have to be homesick for family. (you can be homesick for Ky and Kres) Apparently we are no longer allowed to talk to one another, we are suppose to just reference the blog so it is just like you are here!
hi clay! congrats on all the good things going for you. maybe we'll actually get to move back out west soon and see you all more often. cute family!
christy
Congratulations on the new addition. If you think joining the military changed a lot of things in your life, you haven't seen anything compared to what will change with Kres. You better get a move on if you want to have your own basketball team, or are you going for your own baseball team?
Give me a call when you get a chance.
cory
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